I was cleaning up my Yahoo.com inbox and I wasnt really in a happy mood for that fact. I finally decided to delete some of the mail that I have obviously totally forgotten about. Cleaning up things and house keeping is to me somehow like going down memory lane most of the times you find things you never remembered still being there. I came across this, a forwarded mail that my beloved ex boyfriend sent to me many many years back. I forgotten that I didnt delete it, but somehow I remembered the story. Every bit of it. With that particular mail, I also found that all the mail he sent to me was never deleted from my e-mail account. Maybe I really miss me but I dont know, for the past few days things have been making me think a lot about him. The below I will post the forwarded mail that I was talking about. Obvoiusly there is more, but I remembered this one.


Neva wait for someone to say **i love you**

10th grade


As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She
was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and
wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had
missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I
don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I
don't know why.


11th grade


The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me
to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat
next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was
mine. After 2 hour s, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips,
she decided to go to sleep. She
looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to
tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I
love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.


Senior year


The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she
said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together
just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was
over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she
smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be
mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said
"I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want
to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I
love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was
graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up
on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't
notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone
went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged
her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best
friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but
I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to
another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you
came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell
her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my
"best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in
her high school years. This is what it read:
I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want
to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know
why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!
I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.


So thats the mail that I got, many many years ago. Since then, many years has also passed, obviously, and that person and me has not really had a conversation ever since it ended. But what the hey right?

I MISS HIM

*half smiles*